My suspicions proved founded, the next day, when the female tried to tempt me into the box with more catnip, and even my Achilles' Heel: cold cuts! Still, I am no fool. I could tell she was up to something, clever little wench, and I was right. When trickery didn't work, she tried brute force. Well, I can tell you, the traitorous, disloyal little fool felt the sting of my claws for her trouble! I am not a number, I am a free cat! I heard her calling the male at his daytime location, presumably asking for advice. I was sure the he was loyal to me, and disapproved of such behaviour. Still, she tried a few more times, before giving up, or so I was meant to believe.
Later that night, the male returned, and the humans had their evening meal, just as they always do. Afterwards, the male picked me up and scratched my ears, as he is wont to do. Before I knew what was happening, he had slipped me into the cage, locking it tight! "Treason!" "Blasphemy!" I called out, to no avail. "Am I not the Lord your Cat?!" My mind was racing with the possibilities: am I being returned to that suburban hell-hole Long Island? Have they gone over to the Russians, and are turning me in for a bounty?
The humans walked me out of the building, and across a noisy street; cold wind and stinging rain piercing the cage. Very shortly, they had me in another building, filled with pictures of cats and dogs: other victims, no doubt. I was locked in a little room with the two treacherous humans. They tried to soothe me, but I was having none of it. I sniffed around a bit, taking in the scents of a hundred of my cat brethren who had been here before me. What kind of place was this? Was I in Guantanamo Bay? Syria?
Shortly, a woman entered the room wearing medical clothes and a lab coat. She had a thick Slavic accent. So that was it: I had been shipped off to one of the Eastern European interrogation locations for medical testing! The doctor used treats in an attempt to lure me out of my secure location under the table. I feigned interest, all the while eyeing the door left slightly ajar. Unfortunately, my scheme was spotted, and I found myself on the examining table.
The doctor gave me teeth a cursory check, and then the male helped pin me to the table while the doctor violated me with a metal probe! Someone is sure to pay for this insult! The doctor then took me to another room, where I was stabbed a few more times, before returning me to the humans. They shoved me back in the cage, and soon I was returned to our familiar apartment, still groggy from the experience.
In hindsight, it seems as though I was part of some sort of medical examination. I am still not pleased. I lead the humans to believe that I have forgotten all about it, but have forgotten nothing!